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Как без иллюзий общаться с людьми? Отрезвляющие советы

Мы продолжаем знакомить вас со статьями от Арта Гаспарова, автора учебника МГИМО и Энциклопедии переговоров.

В этой статье Арт делится советами от дипломатов, которые помогут без иллюзий общаться с людьми

«1. Не завышайте свои ожидания. Не завышайте ожидания действий других людей. Всегда будьте готовы, что результат не будет в точности совпадать с тем результатом, который вы нарисовали в своей голове.

Не считайте себя самым оригинальным и самым особенным. Каждый человек уникален по-своему. Не путайте профессионализм с эгоизмом.

Не привязывайте результат к действиям других людей в стиле «без них я не справлюсь», «без них я не смогу быть счастливым». Командная игра хорошо, но каждый сам кузнец своего счастья.

Не ищите сострадания на ровном месте. Модель поведения «пожалейте меня, я такой несчастный» – не самый лучший способ привлечь к себе внимание.

Не путайте газ с тормозом. Если люди к вам хорошо относятся, не пользуйтесь их расположением и их доброжелательностью. Не выстраивайте отношения по принципу потребления. Вовремя притормаживайте, чтобы отблагодарить или дать что-то взамен.

Не стремитесь обрести над другими людьми полную власть и контроль. И не забывайте, что любой авторитет и любое подчинение вашим интересам подразумевает, что вы за это что-то предлагаете взамен.

Не ревнуйте. Страх потери человека растворяет целостность вашей личности и лишает самостоятельности. Если человек хочет с вами быть и делать вас счастливым, он не будет провоцировать вас на ревность. А если он провоцирует вас на ревность, то зачем вам такой человек?

Помните, в большинстве случаев люди всегда действуют, в первую очередь, на основе именно своих интересов.

28.06.2020 18:47 792

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Whoops, looks like something went wrong.

(1/1) ErrorException fwrite(): write of 1749 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded
in StreamHandler.php line 133
at HandleExceptions->handleError(8, 'fwrite(): write of 1749 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded', '/home/judo/public_html/vendor/monolog/monolog/src/Monolog/Handler/StreamHandler.php', 133, array('stream' => resource, 'record' => array('message' => 'ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main}', 'context' => array(), 'level' => 400, 'level_name' => 'ERROR', 'channel' => 'local', 'datetime' => object(DateTime), 'extra' => array(), 'formatted' => '[2025-04-20 15:46:45] local.ERROR: ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main} ')))
at fwrite(resource, '[2025-04-20 15:46:45] local.ERROR: ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main} ')in StreamHandler.php line 133
at StreamHandler->streamWrite(resource, array('message' => 'ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main}', 'context' => array(), 'level' => 400, 'level_name' => 'ERROR', 'channel' => 'local', 'datetime' => object(DateTime), 'extra' => array(), 'formatted' => '[2025-04-20 15:46:45] local.ERROR: ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main} '))in StreamHandler.php line 119
at StreamHandler->write(array('message' => 'ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main}', 'context' => array(), 'level' => 400, 'level_name' => 'ERROR', 'channel' => 'local', 'datetime' => object(DateTime), 'extra' => array(), 'formatted' => '[2025-04-20 15:46:45] local.ERROR: ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main} '))in AbstractProcessingHandler.php line 39
at AbstractProcessingHandler->handle(array('message' => 'ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main}', 'context' => array(), 'level' => 400, 'level_name' => 'ERROR', 'channel' => 'local', 'datetime' => object(DateTime), 'extra' => array(), 'formatted' => '[2025-04-20 15:46:45] local.ERROR: ErrorException: file_put_contents(): write of 204 bytes failed with errno=122 Disk quota exceeded in /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php:122Stack trace:#0 [internal function]: Illuminate\\Foundation\\Bootstrap\\HandleExceptions->handleError(8, \'file_put_conten...\', \'/home/judo/publ...\', 122, Array)#1 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Filesystem/Filesystem.php(122): file_put_contents(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', 2)#2 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/FileSessionHandler.php(83): Illuminate\\Filesystem\\Filesystem->put(\'/home/judo/publ...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\', true)#3 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Store.php(128): Illuminate\\Session\\FileSessionHandler->write(\'oV1qxiK6OpUzuOR...\', \'a:4:{s:6:"_toke...\')#4 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Session/Middleware/StartSession.php(88): Illuminate\\Session\\Store->save()#5 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(218): Illuminate\\Session\\Middleware\\StartSession->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#6 /home/judo/public_html/vendor/laravel/framework/src/Illuminate/Foundation/Http/Kernel.php(189): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminateMiddleware(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#7 /home/judo/public_html/public/index.php(58): Illuminate\\Foundation\\Http\\Kernel->terminate(Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Request), Object(Illuminate\\Http\\Response))#8 /home/judo/public_html/server.php(21): require_once(\'/home/judo/publ...\')#9 {main} '))in Logger.php line 344
at Logger->addRecord(400, object(ErrorException), array())in Logger.php line 712
at Logger->error(object(ErrorException), array())in Writer.php line 203
at Writer->writeLog('error', object(ErrorException), array())in Writer.php line 114
at Writer->error(object(ErrorException))in Handler.php line 71
at Handler->report(object(ErrorException))in Handler.php line 35
at Handler->report(object(ErrorException))in HandleExceptions.php line 81
at HandleExceptions->handleException(object(ErrorException))